Grasping at Straws

Mr. Bill is grasping at straws, trying to find some way of "proving" that all of his contacts with W. J. J. Hoge in violation of the current peace order were forged or done by someone else or whatever the excuse-of-the-day he's trying to peddle.

He's now trying to show that there's an online prank service that sends the message Hoge received and that he had nothing to do with anything.


Here are a few points to consider:

1. Hoge has never introduced the voicemail into evidence in any proceeding. That Mr. Bill would get so spun up about it reminds us of the reference to Proverbs 28:1 at the end of the Johnny Atsign episodes.

2. Even if the call were routed through the prank call site, that doesn't mean that Mr. Bill isn't the voice actor who recorded it or that he didn't initiate the call to Hoge's phone.

3. We called Hoge's phone (as listed at Hogewash) and timed voicemail message to the point where the tone beeps. While that time is consistent with the gag call beginning as soon as the line picked up and running over Hoge's voice mail greeting, the voicemail message ending before the rest of the gag script plays is suspicious.

Of course, if could be that Sluggo told Mr. Hand to make the call to get Mr. Bill in trouble.


Legal Speculation

We aren't lawyers, but we talked to a couple of guys who play them on the Internet …

Legal Speculation

Maybe there’s method to Hoge’s madness.


The Handwriting on the Wall


Mr. Bill’s signature translates into Aramaic as: MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN.

(Brett, you can look it up in the 5th chapter of the Book of Daniel.)


Mr. BIll's Forgery Follies, Part Duex

Mr. Bill’s forgery claims don’t seem to be getting any real world traction.

Forgered Letter

Mr. Bill’s story has more holes than all the cheese in Switzerland.


Mr. Bill's Forgery Follies

Mr. Bill has claimed that the letter that W. J. J. Hoge says he received is a forgery.

We understand that Brett was in the courtroom during Mr. Bill’s contempt hearing. It’s a shame that Brett’s being unable to testify in Maryland courts because of his perjury conviction prevented Mr. Bill from using him as an expert witness on forgery.

PO Forgery

One of those signatures is from the version of the petition that Mr. Bill tweeted. The other is from the version posted by Krendler.


Tick, Tock

We have no idea what the actual outcome of Mr. Bill’s contempt hearing might be, but this page from the Original Kimberlin Unmasked (used without permission) seemed to have a certain resonance with the current situation.



Mr. Bill Makes Contact

Let’s pretend that neither a blog comment nor an email resulting from a pingback enabled link is a contact for the purpose of a Maryland peace order. A letter is.



We look forward to finding out the results of the contempt hearing this Friday.


Meanwhile, Back At The Brettbunker ...

We managed to listen in on a recent strategy session in the Brettbunker (aka Mom’s Basement) …



Three Hots and a Cot for Mr. Bill?


The Hogie-Wan image is taken from the Original Kimberlin Unmasked without permission.

What a Difference a Year Makes

Actually, a bit more than a year. Back in late 2013, Mr. Bill was very confident about being able to defeat W. J. J. Hoge’s petition for an extension of the first peace order. He was certain that Hoge was going to jail for perjury.




Mr. Bill was wrong.

Fast forward to 2015, and as the contempt hearing for violation of the second peace order nears, Mr. Bill has shut up.


We doubt that Mr. Bill is headed to jail, unless he does something massively stupid in front of the judge, but there is likely to be some consequence for his actions.

The November, 2013, panels are from the Original Kimberlin Unmasked and are used without permission. We got them off of The Wayback Machine.


Mr. Bill Haz Sad ...

Mr. Bill haz sad because W. J. J. Hoge is taking his time filing his oppositions to Mr. Bill’s motions related to his upcoming show cause hearing for contempt. Just because Mr. Bill has a history of quickly filing poorly thought out court papers doesn’t mean that Hoge has to do so too.

Being Careful

Yes. Those of us who Mr. Bill calls “Lickspittles” adore Hoge’s megalomania that expresses itself in carefully reasoned court filings that are actually grounded in the facts and the law. We’re looking forward to seeing what he files in opposition to Mr. Bill’s motions. We assume that Hoge is taking his time in order to make sure that he’s getting his arguments correct. Also, we suspect that he has a life in the real world that makes demands on his time.


Recycling Oedipal Bill

Here’s an Original Kimberlin Unmasked graphic with the talk balloons refilled with tweets from Mr. Bill’s @weltschmerz2015 account that he posted on January 17th. Once again, he’s attempting to try his case (a contempt show cause hearing relating to Hoge’s peace order) on the Internet, while Hoge appears be quietly waiting for the court to hear the matter. Taking history as our guide, we bet that Hoge has the better strategy.


As usual, the Original Kimberlin Unmasked material is used without permission.

Obeying Court Orders

Bill Schmalfeldt may not be getting all his advice from Acme Legal. He seems to be making some of it up as he goes along. One wrong idea he has is that he can get away with having disobeyed Hoge’s peace order if he can find a way to have it vacated. That’s not the way court orders work.

A group of civil rights protestors were busted for marching in violation of an injunction. They appealed all the way to the Supreme Court. And. Lost.

Obeying Court Orders

We’re getting better with this google searching for fact checking. We found the Walker v. Birmingham case on Google Scholar in under 5 minutes.

More Investigative Journalism

Say, this fact checking part of investigative journalism can be fun, and it’s a great way to sharpen your google-fu. It took one of us almost ten minutes of searching online to find a copy of a motion to dismiss that Mr. Bill filed in the Hoge v. Schmalfeldt copyright lawsuit last year. He included a copy of Hoge’s no further contact letter that followed up after the initial peace order. So Mr. Bill has provided unimpeachable documentary evidence that he was on notice and knew that he was on notice.

More Investigative Journalism


Some Investigative Journalism

We noticed that Mr. Bill is broadcasting the theory that W. J. J. Hoge’s petition for contempt must fail because it was submitted on the wrong form. We decided to fact check that claim, so we got in touch with the Clerk of the Circuit Court in Carroll County. Actually, we didn’t speak with Mr. Sealing himself but with a very helpful lady in his office.

She informed us that if Mr. Hoge had used the wrong form, the Clerk’s office would have returned it to him. She said the preprinted form he used was the correct one for a petition filed with the Circuit Court. We asked about form number CC-DC-PO-007, Mr. Bill’s preferred form, and were told that it was a District Court form not used by the Circuit Court.

We realize that this is from an actual source within the Clerk’s office working during normal business hours and not the special Christmas Eve staff, but we are inclined to give more credence to this information than in Mr. Bill’s theorizing.

New Tech


We Make the Big Time!

Cowabunga, Dudes! Mr. Bill has included cartoons from Kimberlin Unmasked in an exhibit in his motion to dismiss W. J. J. Hoge’s contempt petition for Mr. Bill’s violations of the current peace order. w00t!

KU Makes the Big Time

One More Thing—That Hogie-Wan image is from the Original Kimberlin Unmasked and is used without permission.

Mr. Bill & Acme Legal

Mr. Bill thinks he’s found a loophole that will save him from the consequences of disobeying a court order. If he really believes that, we have a tunnel between Folkestone and Coquelles available for a nominal sum.

Mr. Bill and Acme

Hoge has said that he didn’t seek incarceration in his petition. It seems that he simply wants the court to compel Mr. Bill to obey its order. The court has the inherent power to enforce its own orders, and we presume that he judge will find an appropriate means of coercion.

Mr. Bill Gets Ready

Mr. Bill said that he was looking for legal counsel, but now he is saying that he will mail his written answer to the contempt show cause order on Friday. It looks like he is stuck defending himself pro se.

Hoge has petitioned the court that issued the latest peace order against Mr. Bill to hold him in contempt because he contacted Hoge using a WordPress pingback.

Bill Gets Ready

We doubt that will be much screaming in Westminster, MD, over the weekend. Given what Hoge seems to have learned from an investigation conducted by Johnny Atsign and from his actually reading the pingback instructions from WordPress, we suspect that derisive laughter is more likely.


Mr. Bill Makes Another Fearless Forecast

Given Mr. Bill’s track record for predicting the outcome of court cases, W. J. J. Hoge should probably consider his petition a slam dunk.

Fearless Forecast